Carlos Moedas wants the Municipal Police to start making arrests. It is understood: Lisbon is no longer a safe city, especially for Carlos Moedas. Last week it was violently attacked with words at the Municipal Assembly meeting. Now, you can ask a law enforcement officer to intervene: “Mr. Guard, that lady said I lied!”
The president of the National Union of Municipal Police Officers told Expresso that he was against the measure, as the Municipal Police are “exclusively administrative”. In other words, municipal police officers are not supposed to make arrests, especially because they are trapped in the office. Furthermore, the number of Lisbon Municipal Police personnel is around 400. That’s not much, so I fear that Carlos Moedas wants more people on the street arresting people. Soon, we will see the criminals being handcuffed by a Carris pickpocket, an EMEL inspector or the fashion police.
Carlos Moedas guarantees that the city is increasingly insecure and intends to be our Rudy Giuliani. I’ll say more: Lisbon is in a state where a mandatory curfew was already justified. But from the trash. The most persistent feeling in the capital is not that of insecurity, it’s the stench. Very clearly, Carlos Moedas passionately wants to command a security force. As there is still some time before he becomes prime minister, he intends to do so in violation of the law. Perhaps this desire to lead a police force can be managed in another way: this coming Christmas, someone should give him an Action Man.
Carlos Moedas’ position was not free from criticism, even within his political center. Rui Moreira stated that the measure is “nonsense”, since “there are powers that the State cannot delegate to local authorities”. It can only be envy of the mayor of Porto. Lisbon has more tourists, so it needs to be better prepared to welcome them. Since restaurants, stores and businesses are already tailor-made for Americans, it makes perfect sense that we should also have sheriffs.
To avoid conflict with the unions, Carlos Moedas must find an alternative to the Municipal Police, which, in any case, affirms its security position. I suggest hiring Batman. He is more discreet, gets along well with police managers and does not charge overtime for the night shift. Furthermore, Batman is not only American, he also inherited a million-dollar fortune. Taking this profile into account, it is most likely that he recently moved from Gotham to Campo de Ourique.
Since you must already live here, all you need to do is make a direct arrangement with a videomapping and project the bat symbol into the skies of Lisbon. Thus, Carlos Moedas can leave the municipal police in peace, so that they can dedicate themselves to their usual duties: handling traffic cones and shouting “hey friend, you can’t go that way”.
